During one of my meditations the following statement came to me, “I am responsible for my own joy!” This resonated and gave me the feeling that joy is a natural state which I access more easily if I take responsibility for it. The key I am beginning to understand is that the more I can embody my greater being the more I can experience joy as my true self. I’m learning that my greater being is not simply some expanded, amorphous ball of energy focused here into my human form. My greater being is more like an octopus, and not just any ordinary octopus doing octopus stuff; he’s sitting on a couch playing video games. So I’m combining analogies here, you may have heard that life is sort of like a super realistic video game, and we can become so focused on our little avatar that we totally forget everything about the guy on the couch. Eight, is the number that represents infinity, so my octopus can have any number of tentacles stretched out into many different games. Just like an octopus has neurons spread out through its whole body so each tentacle can have its own experience. That image helps me shift my awareness more to my greater being on the couch. Then I am less and less guided by programming from the game and more by the joy of my expanded self. What I came to realize was that in a few of those games my avatars ran into some fairly traumatic situations, and so those tentacles got stuck. Until I could process the experiences from of those lifetimes, parts of my octopus remained frozen, always streaming information back to the greater being, which also informed my other tentacles. This lead to more entanglements and more tentacles getting stuck until I no longer looked like a cute, graceful little octopus, but a giant tangled ball of slimy tentacles. I finally realized that the only way to have a decent life was to do the work of untangling my tentacles. That process has connected me more and more to my greater octopus who is able to swim a bit more happily these days now that he’s not so tangled up!
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